Episode 7 – The Advantage of Disadvantage
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Lauren Fritts 0:00
Hello, and welcome to that Mental Shit
Lauren Fritts 0:13
My name is Lauren, but you can call me Lo and I’m here to help you figure out that mental mess in your head. So you can live the best life you know you deserve.
Lauren Fritts 0:20
Now today’s episode is going to be a little different. The previous episodes have been very motivational. And this isn’t going to be just motivation. Now, I’m not coming to you on this podcast as the host as an expert. That’s not what this is about. I’m constantly learning. I’m constantly evolving. And I just want this to be space where I teach you and bring you along on my journey.
Lauren Fritts 0:42
And today, I really want to talk about some things I’m learning a new idea. I really think people need to talk about more, because it’s a new idea that I heard and I’m like, What the hell is this? And I dove right in. And it really goes with what you guys hear me say a lot that there is no excuses for excuses. Like, really, I don’t, I don’t give a shit. There’s always a way. So this topic is mental and physical disadvantages versus advantages, has become one of my favorite to dive into lately. And I think what makes it so intriguing to me is that disadvantages and advantages are literally just perceptions. Like when I was reading about disadvantages, I was talking to my husband about him like why who said, when I look at the disadvantage of where you grew up, why who just said it was okay to call that a disadvantage, like your situation can be whatever you want it to be if you’ve reframe it in your mind. So yes, this episode might motivate you, which is great.
Lauren Fritts 1:44
But really, I’d rather I’d rather challenge your thinking today, I really want to help you reframe your mindset, and your beliefs about yourself in your situation. I’m really into the concept that your mind, not the concept. It’s true. The idea, your mind controls everything. Look around your room right now. Everything you see in your room was an invention that started in someone else’s mind. I literally find it so fascinating, especially the disadvantage versus advantage conversation because when I was told when so I was told when I was diagnosed bipolar at 18, that it would be the biggest disadvantage of my life and to pretty much go on disability and quit and blah, blah, blah. Another way to describe a disadvantage in this situation would be like a desirable difficulty. Oh, that sounds weird, doesn’t it? Who would want desirable, a desire difficulty?
Lauren Fritts 2:43
And, yes, my bipolar is technically a perceived disadvantage. And the past 12 years haven’t been easy. I’m not gonna frickin lie to you. There were times I just kind of wanted to solve it. But look at me now I’m 30 years old with two beautiful babies. I’ve been married to my amazing husband for 10 years,
Lauren Fritts 3:02
I have a great job. I’m the youngest chapter vice president in an educational foundation. In that association I one young professional of the year for 2019. I am the top 2% in a network marketing company, we just built our own home. And most importantly, I host my own podcast where I use my disadvantage to help people change their life. Like no one was going to tell me shit that I couldn’t achieve anything. My life’s mission when the doctor told me that I would amount to nothing was to prove that doctor wrong. And I say I’ve done it. And the crazy part is it 30 Like I’m nowhere near done. Yeah, I’m just getting started. Okay, but like, what do I mean by disadvantages?
Lauren Fritts 3:45
There are so many different kinds, okay, situational, cultural, cold, hard words, cultural, mental, physical learning difficulties, all of the above. So let’s break down a few to give you kind of an idea of what I’m talking about. Obviously, we’re going to talk about mental disadvantages. My doctor told me I wouldn’t be anything because of my mental disadvantage, quote, unquote. And then they’re learning disadvantages like dyslexia is the biggest example. And you already know why I personally think mental disadvantages is wrong in my own life, but this isn’t going to make an impact on you until I list the names of people who have actually said like, fuck you to their own stigma. They’re dealing with it and slaying.
Lauren Fritts 4:26
So some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world have dyslexia. We’re just going to name a few. Richard Branson, Einstein Whoopi Goldberg, Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter, Steven Spielberg, Walt Disney Steve Jobs Tommy Hilfiger. Okay about let’s talk about bipolar. Carrie Fisher or Princess Leia. Mariah Carey, Demi Lovato, Robin Williams, Jimi Hendrix, Catherine Zeta Jones, Frank Sinatra, Elon Musk.
Lauren Fritts 4:57
ADHD, we got Michael Phelps Howie Mandell motivational speaker Mel Robbins Justin Timberlake Simone Biles, Emma Watson Will Smith, Jim Carrey. And that’s only a small list in these categories. I could sit here and list them all to you, but you have Google just like I do. So you go do that.
Lauren Fritts 5:16
But no matter the names, they still have one thing in common. They didn’t use their diagnosis as an excuse for shit. They didn’t get their diagnosis and they lose me feel bad for me. I’m gonna quit everything they fucking slayed it. They use their advantage. They use it to their advantage. They succeeded, despite what they were supposed to do. Okay, well, how about physical or like life disadvantages to think of every single Paralympic athlete? Jessica long is apparently a paralympic swimmer. And she’s been on the on the Olympic commercials lately, where it’s her mom on the phone and she’s swimming and she said, you know, she was born with this and the mom was like, knows that. You know, I don’t know if you see that commercial. But her story has disadvantages coming out the ying yang. Okay. She has won over 13 Paralympic gold medals. So Jessica was born in Siberia, Russia, with a rare condition being born without most of the bones in her feet. And Jessica, his birth mom was 16 and couldn’t handle that shit and put her up for adoption. So Jessica was 13 months old. Beth and Steve long from America adopted her. Jessica his legs were amputated at 18 months in order to improve her mobility. And she got prosthetic prosthetic legs. In total at 18 months old. She needed 25 surgeries. And despite her childhood, despite what she’s been through, she is the Michael Phelps of the Paralympic world. But even she actually said that it’s not about the gold medal medals. So she was quoted, winning gold medals is incredible. And obviously it’s what I want to do. But there’s something so special about having a little girl who has just lost her life from cancer come up and tell me I met her hero.
Lauren Fritts 7:00
Her new mission was to reframe the concept of disability and encourage all people to thrive. There are a few Olympic swimmers with two legs, let alone one. She’s a champion because of who she is. She changed her own world and is now changing others because she found advantage and her disadvantage. Okay, so life disadvantages. Maybe you were born into a family who financially struggled or poverty? Were you born into a neighborhood with gangs? And did your dad leave? Or did a parent die at a young age? Did you lose your home? Were you homeless? Were you not given the opportunity to go to college, anything like that? Beethoven was deaf. He is the greatest composer of our time, and he had no idea what the fuck he was even playing.
Lauren Fritts 7:52
Successful people that were born into poverty. Let’s just name a few. Just to give you an example, Jim Carrey, he lived in a van during his childhood. He left school at 15 to help support his family. He is now worth over $150 million. Leonardo DiCaprio was born in a very poor neighborhood and constantly surrounded by like drugs and prostitution. And he now owns an island. Ralph Lauren, the clothing designer grew up in the Bronx as the youngest child of poor Jewish immigrants. He is now worth $7 billion. Jay Z grew up near Brooklyn selling crack on the streets for his family. He is now worth $810 million. Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Lopez, Stephen King, Oprah. Okay, do you get the picture? All there. There are so many different types of desirable difficulties or perceived disadvantages we could talk about. But obviously because who I am and what we’re here about on the podcast, we’re going to focus on the perceived mental disadvantages, the list of successful people I’ve mentioned.
Lauren Fritts 8:57
That’s exactly why I have a hard time with people who use their mental illness as an excuse. And not even just like an excuse to give up. But also the way you act Kanye West is bipolar by mental illness does not give you an excuse to ask, act like a fucking dick. Mental illness isn’t an excuse to give up on your dreams or give up on life. You cannot feel sorry for yourself. And the list above all those celebrities just proves that you’re mentals that is your disadvantages. Is it an excuse to fucking quit? You got to get up you have to keep going. You have to do what it takes. Because with those names I just showed you. There is absolutely no reason you can’t be successful. David and Goliath the oldest story in the book is a story of you know the giant with the with the rock, or the big old giant and nobody wanted to beat the giant or fight the giant because the giant would win because he’s super big and fat and whatever. David, this tiny little guy who wasn’t even a warrior Anything like that was like, hey, I can do it and took down the giant with a rock. Was it the giant supposed to weigh in? Because he’s bigger so he had a bigger advantage? Why did David think he was the bit that could slay the beast when he’s like this tiny little human?
Lauren Fritts 10:16
Sometimes what people see as disadvantages, ain’t Shit. There’s something to say about desirable difficulties. 40% of millionaires have dyslexia. 38% of millionaires deal with a mental illness. I mean, there are studies on this show people, people with dyslexia tend to compensate for things they can’t do well, by developing in other areas. So the studies have shown that people with dyslexia that are successful, have way better oral communication, delegation, as well as problem solving and people management Barbara Corcoran, the real estate mogul from Shark Tank, she’s worth $5 billion. She’s also an investor and all that bowl. So where did all that ambition come from? She actually said that dyslexia was her driving force. She said, quote, it made me more creative, more social, and more competitive. There’s a great freedom to being dyslexic. It’s you can’t let that shit define you. People with bipolar disorder are known to be highly creative and innovative. And bipolar people make great entrepreneurs. Honestly, it’s we have self starting nature, and attraction to taking risks, a willingness to live without uncertainty. And those are just a few examples of why I think this whole disadvantage concept is just shit. I really do believe disadvantages are built in our perceptions. Perceptions come from our thoughts.
Lauren Fritts 11:41
So how do we use things to our advantage? You’re not gonna like this, I guarantee you’re not gonna like what I’m about to say. You literally just decide to change the way you think about it. It’s simple, and a lot of people don’t fucking like simple. Robin Williams, that his dyslexia he saw words upside down and backwards. And so when other kids in school thought he was an idiot, he would just try to do funny things. And that’s what built a self his self esteem. Harrison Ford, the actor was bullied relentlessly growing up, because it was super poor. So he signed up for drama class, hoping for an easy, good grade. And now he’s Harrison Ford. It just comes down to the way you look at it. There is purpose in pain. Last week, we talked about feeling the feelings. And most of what we talked about was pain. Pain has purpose. All types of pain, emotional pain, pain from life and difficulties.
Lauren Fritts 12:44
It honestly all depends on you. I found my life’s purpose in overcoming the pain of living with bipolar disorder. The pain I went through the disadvantages that I turned into advantages. I’m using that to drive my life’s purpose of helping other people do the same. Are Alive lives. We are wired to avoid difficulties. But maybe facing those difficulties head on is exactly what you need. Are you looking for purpose in life? Are you unsure? Are you a victim of your own mind? Challenge that shit. Reframe what’s happening to your life. You guys know that? I don’t do excuses. So stop fucking making them and do something about them. Yes, I know. It’s challenging. Life is challenging. Difficulties are challenging. But you know what they aren’t. tell anybody but they aren’t. They aren’t hopeless. them. Okay, you know what? They’re challenging. But they are hopeless. I want to challenge you to reframe your thinking, Okay, what difficulty you’re going through right now in your life? Is there something you’re going through or have gone through that seemed hopeless, something you just accepted as fact? What would have happened if I would have just accepted the fact that I was bipolar? And my life was over? And I agreed to go on state disability because that’s what my doctor said I would do because they said I would never amount to nothing. What if I never challenged that? Like, I don’t like thinking about that? Because honestly, I probably wouldn’t be married. Probably won’t have any kids. I’d be living on my mom’s couch. Well, I took in state disability, my bipolar would probably be worse. You know, I don’t even know if I’d even be here.
Lauren Fritts 14:30
83% of Americans with bipolar on disability from the state? No, I understand that. Because this was me that the beginning of your diagnosis is very hard and that until you get the right medication or system or plan. Yeah, it’s hard. I get it. But it isn’t hopeless. And that’s the key here you have to keep fighting. The lifespan of someone with bipolar is 9.2 years less than the average person because of suicide. Actually, anyone with a mental illness is expected to have a 10 to 25 year reduction in lifespan, not because mental illness kills them. But because of suicide and a little off topic, but why are we okay with that statistic? Why are we so worried about the fucking narrative of politics right now? And COVID killing us? But we’re not okay. With the mental state, that statistic that people are killing themselves because they’re not getting help, or they feel alone. Sorry, I just Why is the world not fighting harder? Why aren’t people speaking louder? That’s an insane statistic.
Lauren Fritts 15:40
Anyway, rant over, but you have to reframe your thinking. Because we have to fight those statistics, I need you to refuse to be another statistic. Every disadvantage in life is an open path to self improvement. It can help you grow and your life and grow in your life in crazy like great ways. The reason people see failings and those with a mental illness or learning disability is because we’re looking in all the wrong places. Or the kid who was told that a young age that they have ADHD and they’re told they have a deficit and a disorder. Why aren’t they told that they have an amazing advantage? Add People have hyper focus, and like a super heightened ability to focus on something and devote like an intense amount of energy to solving a problem or building something beyond what most people can do. They have an ability to get done in one day. What takes others weeks, I add is one of the single greatest advantages I have sure it’s got its drawbacks, whatever, it’s harder for me to focus on things that don’t interest me. And if I walk into a room, a lot of times, I don’t remember why I’m there. But all that means is I should focus on doing things that do interest me, I have an abnormal advantage. And I feel sorry for those people who are able to apply intense focus on something like those with a DD or ADHD. So we all have battles we face, but the battles make us better. The battles make us better challenges force us to adapt and gain skills to overcome some that we didn’t have before or wouldn’t have had without it. But here is where you come in. whether something is a disadvantage or an advantage. That’s when you Walt Disney said all the adversity I’ve had in my life, all the travels and obstacles have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens. But a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. So next time you’re faced with an obstacle or a setback, or even right now,
Lauren Fritts 17:30
I want you to think about your past, the situation’s you’ve been through the worst days of your life, the things you had to overcome, I challenge you to change your perspective. If it’s already happened to you reframe your mind, right on the situation, that I want you to find the good in it. If it was a situation from your past, how did you overcome it? What did you learn? What about it made you who you are today? How about is it happening now? Write down what you’re going through. But I want you to pretend like your best friend came to you with this issue. How would you help her through it? What would you encourage her to do? How could you help yourself find the good in the shit that’s happening? My hope is that you find what about you doesn’t fit the norm. And instead of trying to hide it or bury it, work to make that your single greatest advantage. I really hope that you can reframe your mind and focus on living with intentionality and not just accepting the shit that’s happened to you. I know you got this. So now I want you to do me a favor. Go leave a five star review and don’t forget to screenshot the episode just share with your friends and tag me on Instagram at the Lauren Fritts. You guys are killing it and I’m so freaking proud of you. I will see you next week.
