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Lauren Fritts 0:00
Hello, and welcome to that mental shit. Enter intro music here haha
but you can call me low, it’s cold today it i, so I’m in Southern California, and it is cold I am in my closet, recording my podcast, I’m in my Minnie Mouse broke, just to give you a visual, I’m on the floor. And it’s cold people like in Southern California, we have the heat on today. Anyway, just a little bit about me, I need to talk to you guys more about like myself and my life. So that’s what you get, you get the fact that it’s cold in Southern California. I mean, it is January, but we’re not here to talk about that. Today, we are here to talk about the big bulging muscles of your personality, your strength, you know, as normal people would call it. And so here’s the thing about strength. If I asked you to name a weakness of yours, you can probably do it without a second thought, right? Like I mean, let’s be real, most people within 100 mile radius can then weaknesses like that. And you could probably do it with conviction, like you’re so freakin sure of what you’re not good at. But switch it up and say I asked you to share a strength. Insert cricket noise here if I knew how to do that. silence hesitation, self consciousness. And when you finally like come up with the strength to every 10 weaknesses you list. It’s like a question, right? It’s like I’m a good listener. Maybe? I don’t know. So why the hell are you so confident about your weakness and so uncertain when it comes to your strengths?
Because we’re really good at focusing on shit and not good shit, but like bad shit like stinky shit. Like, we have years of practice being negative and focusing on Bad Shit, which means you’re more likely to focus on what you’re bad at, than when you’re good at it also means you’re more likely to like talk about what other people are bad at. Do you catch yourself doing that? judging other people, instead of talking about what they’re good at? Like, oh, wow, she’s a really great speaker. No, you’re talking about the fact that she has toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe, or I don’t know, it was a horrible example. But that was off the top of my head. So not only do you have like your internal dialogue, playing your weaknesses on repeat, but you highlight it in your actual conversations. So the past few episodes, we work through our limiting beliefs, we’ve listed our flaws and flaws in order to love them. Now the next part of being self aware is to find our strengths and how to use them to continue on this bad bit journey. Because you have so much to give to the world that you don’t even know yet. And that’s where this episode comes in. Malcolm as Forbes said too many people, overvalue what they are not an undervalue what they are. And that’s why I want to talk about finding our strengths because he’s right, we talk a lot about what we aren’t.
And when we’re in, we’re lacking, like, oh, well, I’m not good at that. Oh, we never actually appreciate the gifts that make us us. Like in the past episodes, I briefly mentioned briefly mentioned finding value in who you are. But maybe you don’t know what that is. Yeah, and that’s okay. I literally just found out my purpose, or what I would consider my purpose in life only a year or so ago. So don’t sweat it like and I don’t care how old you are, or where you’re at in life, you still have a whole shit ton of magic that you haven’t even harnessed yet. Knowing your strengths will help you feel more confident and have more of a like, ready to conquer the world mentality or at least conquering the shit you want to do in life. Maybe you don’t want to conquer the world. Spending more time telling yourself like I got this shit instead of what the fuck am I doing? Right? How many times a day do you just kind of go What am I doing? Or is that is that just me? So also also, if you also struggle with motivation, on my Instagram, I’ve been getting a lot of questions on motivation. This goes hand in hand. motivations are fucking lying bitch motivation is like a second grade school crush. It’s fleeting.
You’re absolutely in love and gonna marry the boy who sits across the classroom with the Thomas the Train backpack one day. And then the next day you’re gonna come to school and realize it’s not him you’re in love with. It’s the kid with the dinosaur shoes that light up. He is your soulmate and you will marry him. Motivation is temporary. Just like your school crush. Unless any of you are married to your second grade school crush. I doubt it. I am married to like my husband. I have had a crush on him since I was 15 and although it took him till I was 18 to realize what he had in front of him. I do understand falling in love young that’s not the point of this podcast Lauren. Hello, welcome to my add back to the motivation is temporary. When you do what drains you? Many times when we’re stuck in like dead end jobs, we feel drained. feeling drained or stuck, I realized is when you aren’t using your strength. When you don’t use your strength, you will constantly feel drained no matter how much you love what you do. If you want to feel alive and like powerful each day, it’s time to put the strength to work in order to get those dreams. Now real quick, since we talked about flaws last week, there’s a big difference between flaws and weaknesses and what we’re talking about personality flaws I see as perception, their perceived flaws, flaws, our perceptions. If you think that being over emotional is a flaw, that’s your perception. I see it as having a kind, caring heart that the world needs more of. If you think that your outgoing personality is a flaw, I see it as like a shining light in a world that needs a little bit more sunshine. Okay, do you follow? When we’re talking about weaknesses? today? I’m not talking like something you aren’t good at. So singing, singing is a weakness for me. No need to put a silver lining on it. I can’t sing worship. I’m tone deaf. I sound like Miss Piggy if she had a gold not is not good. It’s not good people. That is a weakness.
Singing is not my strength. John Maxwell says it best when he was he John Maxwell says don’t spend time developing your weaknesses. You aren’t good at them. I’m not gonna waste time learning how to sing. Because, you know, I’m gonna leave that to like Mariah Carey, which maybe I should use a different example. Because Have you guys seen the videos going around lately of her without a backtrack? Anyway, I have plenty of other strengths to spend my time on. And it’s not singing. Nor is a basketball of five foot one, not even five foot one. Wow, I gave myself a whole extra inch there people at five foot basketball is not going to be my strength. You will not see me out on the court at the park until nine o’clock at night trying to dunk a basketball, it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to waste my time, on weaknesses. And it’s not that like strengths aren’t just what you’re good at and weaknesses or what you’re bad at. That’s not it. There are a lot of things I’m good at, but that I absolutely hate doing. For example, like my nine to five, I’m really good at my job. But it doesn’t mean it’s my dream and energizes me I’m just really good at what I do. And just because you’re good at something doesn’t make it a strength. Passion is what qualifies a strength as a strength. Talent and strengths are truly unique to you focusing on your strengths, finding them and using them to better yourself and your purpose.
That gives you that magic we’re talking about. When you focus on weaknesses, they drain you like they literally drain you because you don’t like it to begin with. So why you’re probably not good at it. Your Strengths are skills that make you feel alive and like have you ever done something at the end, instead of being like, oh, tired, and I’m really glad to go home, you’re like bulking poked and couldn’t sleep like Hell yeah, I could do that for hours. Or even like it makes you so excited that you want to wake up the next day and do it again. That’s that’s a strength. That’s the That’s the feeling we’re looking for people. You are magic, I’m going to keep fucking saying that until you believe it, whether you choose to believe me or not. And that magic comes from those unique abilities, talents and strengths. That magic doesn’t come from weakness, having spent a recent significant time working on my weaknesses, not recent refresh, having spent a lot of time in the past, like weighing too much, working on my weaknesses, and then recently making the change to work on my strengths. Dude, the difference, I thought I wasn’t a motivated person. I literally would spend so much time learning how to be motivated google how to be motivated watching podcasts or listening to podcasts on how to be a motivated person, or like my ATD was always going to hold me back because I couldn’t focus on shit. But actually working on my weaknesses drained me. When I started to focus exclusively on strengths I started finding like the energy and new ways to unleash that potential and I could focus on a task for more than five minutes. And honestly, that deserves an award. The greatest talents, the ways in which you naturally think, feel and behave are your greatest source of power. And some of you are numbers, people so I’m gonna give you some facts. People who focus on using their strengths are three times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life. And two are six times more likely to be engaged in their work when you actually use these strengths and make the magic of inside of you. You get all the positive energy you are more likely to achieve goals. confidence, confidence is built and we’re all looking for confidence. And honestly, you’ll be less stressed. These talents and strengths represent our innate power and potential. You have to be yourself to build on your strengths. You can’t do what anyone else does. You have to be yourself. Ask yourself what I want you to ask yourself, Okay, second, second, breathe born. Breathe. Ask yourself what’s within me, what gifts and abilities do I have? Ask yourself what is innately I asked myself, that’s what is innately Lauren, that allows me to have authenticity. When I communicate and connect with people. I want you to list five things that are just you. You cannot be anything you want to be. But you can be a whole lot more of who you already are. If you want to live that happier, more fulfilled life we talk about, you’re going to have to take the unique things about you that are beautiful and powerful and take them seriously though, and turn them into contributions. I highly suggest taking the Clifton Strengths test, it’s called gal, it’s GA ll up gallop, I’ll post it in the show notes.
The Clifton Strengths says you’d have to pay for the cheap test is like 1999. But I did pay the full test of like 49.99 Because I was there’s good people is friggin good. It’s worth 50 bucks. So it’s an hour long test with 177 questions, it’s going to measure your talents, your natural ways of thinking and behaving and categorizes them into the 34 Clifton Strengths theme. Now the reason I love this test is because once you finish the test, you get your full profile, it tells you not only what makes you different, but what makes you uniquely powerful. It also helps you make the most of your strongest strengths and like teaches you how to use them. When I found out what my strengths were, it was crazy because like, I knew them, like when I saw him I’m like, Okay, now I see that, but I never saw them as strength. They were just who I was. But honestly, it was insane. Because I’m like, shit, that’s me. So my top five strengths, although they list 34. My top five number one was futuristic to achiever three belief for activator five, restorative. They give you full descriptions of these strengths based on how you answered the questions. When I saw the details of futuristic, I was like, Yeah, I see the future clearly doesn’t everybody. But I was I was wrong, I didn’t know that. Something that was just part of who I was, that I’d never even considered a strength was apparently my best drink out of 34 of them.
But we’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to talk about you, and your strengths and how to dig them out. If you’re skeptical now, before we go on, stop it, just stop it. You weren’t listening to this for a reason you either you clicked on this number one, you clicked on this. So you’re either drained, lacked confidence or looking for something you’re missing. So no more complaining, you’re going to step out of your comfort zone and you’re going to work through this shit with me. And I’m going to keep telling you until you believe it. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you do hold this immense power that has the ability to change your life and make your dreams come true. It’s true. Nobody has the same abilities as you. No one has the same story. No one has the same journey. And you can harness that magic to fuel your purpose. So how right how do you harness your unique power? How the hell do you invoke and find it? What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it actually is what makes you great. If you don’t want to take the Clifton strength test, let’s talk about how we’re going to figure it out on our own. Let’s recap. Your Strengths are activities that make you feel strong, your bulging bicep muscles of your personality as I think I called it, to identify your own strengths. You need to pay close attention to how specific activities make you feel. Your feelings will reveal your strengths. I feel strongly when and then get detailed. I feel strongly when I’m talking to other others about mental health and their healing. I feel strong when planning an event fill in the blank. Do you feel strong when you’re volunteering at your church? When you’re teaching children something new? Your challenge in the months and years to come can be summed up in one question? How can I play to my strengths a little more this week than I did last week? The most effective way to identify your strengths is through a very simple process. Look and pay more attention to what you do in your life and sort out exactly how they make you feel.
Write down the activity you’re doing. So are you sitting answering emails I want you to write on a piece of paper answering emails. How do you feel after the activity rated on one to 10? And how? How it makes you feel strong? One of does it drain you 10 Is it’s strengthening you How do you feel? Are you energized? Remember how I said the energy producing activities are going to be like yeah, I will do more of that shit and I don’t want to stop. Another way to do it is also ask 10 people who know you well enough to write down three times they witnessed you at your best identify pattern among the feedback you receive. And then look at your list of your energy producing activities. That’s what we’re going to call those. Your energy points. producing activities are anything that are like a seven on a 10 of the scale of giving you energy, identifying patterns. Are there any similarities in those strengths? Is that communication? Are you being creative? Are you motivating somebody?
Are you learning something, or maybe you’re teaching something? Once you figure this shit out, that’s when you discover the amazing variety and uniqueness of who you are. Take that list of strengths, okay? We figured out that list, we found the commonalities found the similarities, we got a good list going on. If some strengths we may think we have, take that list of strengths. And I take each strength individually in one, you’re going to identify exactly how and where each strength helps you in your life right now. To find the miss opportunities to leverage each strength in your life and utilize it that way. And then you’re going to learn new skills and techniques to sharpen those strengths. Number we’re working on our strengths. We’re harnessing our strengths were futuristic, I, since futuristic, was my number one, I bought a book on how vision how to create visions as a leader, how to vision cast for people. Like, that’s how you strengthen those things. Build your life around each strength.
And I know you want to focus on your weakness. It’s very simple. It’s something we all like such a misconception. What’s my weakness, I can make my strength No, don’t do that shit, knock that shit off. If you’ve run a business, hire someone out whose strength is your weakness. If you’re really shitty at reaching out to your customers hire customer care representative right? For example, focusing on your strengths should take priority 10 times out of 10 your strengths are the areas in which you have the most potential, you’re going to do all the amazing shit you want to do with your strengths. Want to know what makes you you that authentic shit, we’ve been talking about your strengths and your talent. And authenticity is so important, because it’s like our North Star. When everything around us changes the environment, the pandemic, it’s something that we can’t control we have no control of, but who we are, who we are deep inside, and who we are as individuals, our values, our beliefs, our personalities, that’s ours. Our Northstar, no one can take that from us. That’s our string. That’s our anchor when we don’t know where we’re going you look at your Northstar.
This week’s homework is to spend some time finding your strengths. Write down what activity energizes you ask your friends even look back at the accomplishments in your life? And what tools did you need to achieve that your strengths can be used everywhere honestly, like your life, your career, your relationship, being a mom, a better friend. Your Strengths are the power you have been looking for. Now you need to go find them. And remember, remember people fuck the weaknesses don’t waste your time on them. The energy in the power comes from what you already have. If you go through this work and find out strengths or how you’re going to use them,
I’d love to honestly hear about it or your experience. You can always email me if any of this helped you if any of that previous episodes help you and you can find the email in my show notes or on my website. And that’s all folks that’s all folks I can’t do. I don’t even remember the pig name. Don’t forget to leave a five star review. And so we can all get this podcast out to more people. Do me a favor screenshot this episode and tag me on Instagram to let me know you’ve listened. Don’t forget your bad fucking bitch and you got this shit. I’ll see you next week.